Sample outputs

What destruction looks like

Six real roast personas. Your CV will get the same treatment.

The Overqualified Underachiever

Senior Engineer, 8 yrs exp

8 years of experience, 0 years of impact — congrats on your tenure.

Listed Python as a skill. Used it once in 2019 to rename files.

Your summary says passionate. Your job history says napping.

Tone: Snarky

The Fresh Graduate

CS Graduate, 0 yrs exp

Led a team of 1. That team was you. You led yourself. Barely.

Microsoft Office listed under Technical Skills. Bold move.

4 internships, 4 different industries — pick a lane.

Tone: Gordon Ramsay

The Career Switcher

Marketing → Product, 5 yrs

Synergised cross-functional stakeholders. Said nothing. Impressive.

Gap year listed as Self-discovery. Recruiter read: unemployed.

Skills: Excel, PowerPoint, Figma. This is a vibe board, not a CV.

Tone: Corporate Speak

The Serial Job Hopper

6 jobs in 4 years

6 jobs in 4 years. Your LinkedIn looks like a slot machine.

Every role says 'Led initiatives'. None say 'finished them'.

Reason for leaving: growth opportunities. Translation: fired or bored.

Tone: Snarky

The PhD Who Wants Industry

PhD, 0 shipped products

7 years of research. Zero lines of production code. Bold move.

Publications: 4. Shipped products: 0. Industry is different.

Skills include LaTeX. Recruiters do not know what that is.

Tone: Silicon Valley Bro

The 10-Year Same Company Person

One employer, 10 years

One employer for 10 years. Loyal or unemployable — recruiter is unsure.

Three promotions, zero quantified results. Numbers exist. Use them.

Last updated: 2019. The world has changed. This CV has not.

Tone: Received Pronunciation

Your turn. It's free.